Someone once asked where were my mind lived?
Past, present or Future?
I said I didn’t know but I was definitely sure it wasn’t the past as I don’t tend to look back at things and can let go quite easily.
I lied,
I knew.
I live in the future. I live with my future in my mind constantly. Wondering what she’s doing, hoping all my dreams came true, hoping I figured it out, hoping it all worked out at the agreed time.
I care about today because my today affects my future. Affects if I end up with the right person, in the right country, with the right friends, in the right job with the right mind.
My mind….. I hope you’re alright there. You think of so much now, and my heart! It feels soo much now. I hope they’ve learnt to carry better: the emotions, my worries and thoughts.
I’ve always been the person to learn by and through other people’s experiences. Always cautious for myself sometime too cautious….conscious. I hope future me finds her safety net so she can be riskier.
I have all these things I want to do, goals to achieve, people to see and love, and life to experience and I hope future me lives up to it all. It all seems so big and sometimes feels impossible, my ambition, but I think I can do it. I know it in my bones, I feel it.
Anyways, I hope she’s okay, I hope she’s looked after by herself and loved ones. But for present me, maybe live and feel today a little deeper. Maybe be a little less calculative, weighing all the pros and cons, trying to make sure you spend the right energy on things. Maybe I will make a few mistakes, small ones tho!